A Crack in the Walls of Existence
In our willingness and desire we are guided out of the dark of unknowing and into the light of Creation. We are guided on this voyage among stars and constellations and among beings known and unknown. We go with other souls, with saints and angels of all times and all places.
At the times we are willing to see it, if we are ever willing to see it, there is a crack in the existence of Creation. It began before time. It goes on and on, continuing past the point that human beings call the end of time. This crack opens wide enough for us to look through and see the surprises of being. When and if we are willing, we can see the surprise of the animation and survival of all creatures of every sort in all place at all times.
All many of us want in life is to live quiet, decent lives. We want a good enough job that pays a decent wage. Our goals are not all that terribly fancy. We want to provide food, clothing and shelter for our families. It’s our aim to push through to being able to give to the next generation better than what we have.
As the days grow short and the nights lengthen we are challenged by diverging thoughts and realities. At this time of year we can become all too easily caught up in the modern version of Christmas. Spirituality goes out the window like the baby with the bath water. We have parties and food and gifts and much more important things to think about than why we are alive.
Unbeknownst to almost everybody, Christmas is not the most important day on the Christian calendar. Easter holds that place. Yet, we have turned a spiritual time from contemplating on the wonders of our existence into a match to see who can give the most expensive gifts.
An event that turned around my view of the holiday occurred one Christmas Eve when I was a boy. My family was bundled up in our car driving to relatives for Christmas Eve dinner. At that time it was still a meatless feast which we typically celebrated with oyster stew, a rarity in corn and cow country. On our way to dinner my father stopped at a farm. He hadn’t had time to drop by earlier with a Christmas present for the farmer from the company which employed him and did business with the farmer. As he went up to the door we could see curtains opening in bedrooms on the second floor of the house and the excited faces of the farmer’s children looking out at my father and the box in his hand. My mother reminded us that this might be the only gift those children got that year. Their father was not rich and there were eight or ten of them.
The idea that this might be their only gift was shocking to me. It dawned on me at that moment that the gifts of school clothes I didn’t really want was better than nothing at all.
It was at that moment that a crack in my existence split me open. A lesson I might have heard about in other times and other places abruptly made sense. It remains logical to this day. In the light of all of the countless times in this life I have been reminded of epochs and places that I have, surprisingly, known or will know, it all comes together.
I am cracked open so that my existence may be fulfilled.
We think life is chaotic. The more we hear of the chaos theory of physics the more we attempt to force it to apply to our lives. If life is chaotic, try to listen for the still, small voice. Unlikely as it seems, I have heard that voice coming through in the middle of rush hour traffic and looking out the window as I crossed plains and fields in trains and cars.
We think we ought to force the chaos theory upon our existence when we’re not thrilled with our current circumstances. In the middle of the chaos try for silence. Go away from the noise you allow inside your mind and body.
Be radical.
Listen.
Listen for the voice that speaks to us constantly which we assume we cannot hear. If we suppose we cannot see the speaker, how can there be a voice? I can’t begin to recall the number of times I have been in a crowd where I have been caught out for staring at someone. The truth of the matter is that I am conversing with their guardian angel. The angels are quite simply baffled by how we refuse to hear them, refuse their love and assistance. Time and again I was told by humans that I was being rude or exhibiting some particular sort of bad behavior. In point of fact, I was both listening to the angels and absolutely aghast at what I saw. The humans communicate well enough with other humans while being unable to do something which I consider to be the simple, ordinary act of communicating with one’s guardian angel.
In the hours we refuse to pay attention to the deeper realities of our existence, to listen to our angels, is when we prove that the walls of our existence are built with spiritual and emotional iron encased in concrete. We are pushing away anyone who might be helpful. We rebuff the spiritual assistance of anyone who might touch our souls.
Any of us can do the unexpected. The unbelievable. Any of us can stop. Maybe we are not physically capable of movement, but we are capable of learning the long, slow, gradually imperceptible stilling of our minds. In our world of nearly unimaginable competitiveness we are told that not only must we run faster, jump higher and be better than anybody else. That same standard applies to how we ponder our existence.
Only what if it didn’t? What if you took it upon yourself to break through that dam of spiritual resistance? What would happen to your world if you considered yourself worthy of making a crack in the mental and spiritual walls that imprison you?
Perhaps you are physically disabled or in a hospital or prison. If, like me, you have found your body physically confined, wait as that place within your mind opens. Find the narrow fissure, that slightest fracture, in the walls that imprison you.
Put a flower of a thought in that gap. Know that you are free should you so desire. Hold onto the certainty that underneath it all, in that place inside yourself that only you know and where only you can go, you see the depths of all of the universes.
Be willing to go with the saints and the angels of all times and all places on this spirited, spiritual voyage among stars and constellations.
Be willing to be guided out of the dark of unknowing and into the light of Creation.
