Perfection

One must be perfect. Appear picture perfect. Speak flawlessly. Associate with the right people. Go to the best schools. Have the textbook career. Live in an unflawed family.

That was how the world was presented to me when I was a child.

The problem with that being…me. I was not perfect. I did not behave appropriately at all times. It was a horrible embarrassment to discover I had multiple speech defects on top of not always earning an A+ in every subject on my report cards. I hid away from the world in the privacy of my room. I didn’t like other children and had no patience with them. How dare I be a bookworm who disappeared from the world? Didn’t I realize I ought to be on the football field earning glory for my family and our town?

I was all too well aware of others’ expectations. I did not meet up to the designs my family and others had for me.

At the same time, I was made aware that I did some unqualifiedly outrageous things. My behavior was so disgraceful that I had to be silenced as a child. I was told that everyone knew I was lying. No one did the things I claimed to do. No one could see and communicate with God in the same manner we see and communicate with other people. The men, women and children in our lives are standing right in front of us. God is somewhere off in the heavens. Wherever that might be. Nobody sees God. Nor do we discuss that we constantly interact with our guardian angel and other angels at any hour of the day and night. The demons I saw were written off as bad dreams. I was told that I…