The Unexpected Visitor

My dog didn’t care whether or not there was a spirit in his home this morning. As long as he got his first treat of the day when we awoke, he did not object.

First, he got his treat.

Then I dealt with the spirit.

She was a neighbor of ours. Neighbor in the past tense. She died yesterday at the young age of 97. Her passing was nothing special. No virus or slipping on pavement or anything extraordinary. Her heart simply wore out.

She stopped by this morning to give me a couple of messages to pass on. One was a private message to the family member who had taken fantastic care of her for years. The second message was to that person’s friends.

Frankly, it is a very good message that suits all of us. She wanted the friends of her family member to give that person their emotional support. When someone dies, whatever the age or cause, give their survivors support. The survivors need our emotional and spiritual support far more than they need food or flowers.

We can always drop by with a casserole or dessert a few weeks after the fact. When the funeral or memorial is over. When all the mourners have gone home. When the family and friends left behind are feeling high and dry. There is no longer someone there to talk with. No one to care for. That is when we are needed.

That’s when it’s our turn to be the unexpected visitor. Maybe appetites have returned, but don’t count on it. How often do we find ourselves just going through the motions because that is what we’re supposed to do? That is what we learned to do. Maybe life feels empty. Maybe it feels like there will be no new tomorrows. That is when visitors are critical.

It is our responsibility to go on as before. We think people are counting on us to show up for life. Maybe they are, but it could also be that others need us to show up for life. We feel a need deep down to show up for others. And maybe, just maybe, we gradually become aware of the fact that we need to show up for ourselves.

That is the point of life. To show up for ourselves and for others. Regardless of what we might think about any given situation. You and I may be simply exhausted from having to deal with the facts of life. If we have taken care of someone or had to deal with a sudden, shocking change to our lives, we may be ready to simply collapse. To have a few weeks of sheet therapy. To sit outside under a spreading angel oak tree with a glass of sweet tea and a book. Waiting to doze off like Rip Van Winkle.

Rather than planning out what we must do next. And then what we are supposed to do after that. And how long until bedtime and we can simply let it all go until the next day?

I may see spirits at unexpected times and in the most unexpected of places, but we really need to keep an eye out for ourselves.

Whether I see someone’s sprit in my home or on the street is of little consequence. It doesn’t matter if the person passed yesterday or tens of thousands of years ago.

For us to show up for life now, today, that is of the essence.

Our lives are not over until they’re over. We may not think we have anything more to do for ourselves or others, but that’s only a thought. It isn’t a fact.

Even in the midst of whatever madness the world may bring, whoever may show up on our doorsteps, we get to be the best person we have ever been.

Any day of your life, you may be the one person needed most in another’s world.